As a motor enthusiast, I get a lot of questions about my unique approach to all things driving. Questions like ‘How much have you been drinking tonight?’, and ‘Why don’t you come down to the station with us, Sir?'
Like this:
At first it seems impossible. It’s so large, so made of metal, so against all laws of nature. At first it might seem like you won’t be able to reduce it to
DON’T PANIC
You can burn it. You can burn it good. You just need to apply a little strategy, a little brain power, and a lot of accelerant.
(It’s easier to burn the RV than it is to get the douche driving it out. They regenerate like the mold between Roger’s toes.)
Roger’s Four Step Guide To Burning An RV
Step 1: Salvage anything you don’t want burned. Tyres, stereos, family pets, that sort of thing. Put these items a safe distance away from what will soon be a towering RV inferno. Make sure RV is resting on a non flammable surface, like tarmac or concrete – not in a field of highly flammeable Chinese nightgowns.
Step 2: Fill that baby up with fire juice. Old couches, love stained mattresses, fiscal returns from 2000 to 2008, get it in there, layering the debris lovingly and dousing it with the accelerant of your choice. I recommend Kerosene or Roger’s Raging Homebrew (2.99 a gallon – special offer to you blog readers).
Step 3: Light a rag on the end of a long stick and poke it inside the back door.
Step 4:
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6 comments:
Step 3: Light a rag on the end of a long stick and poke it inside the back door.
Why use a stick when you have an opportunity to improve marksmanship with a molly rock?
'Molly' rock? Man, are you a woman? Are you a woman pretending to be a man? Roger suspects your use of feminist terms here on his masculine blogspace.
If you are a lady, and you promise not to tell Mrs Rager, Roger will pleasure you all night long with his burning love stick.
Molly rock is slang for what the IRA called the molotov cocktail, which definitely is not a feminist term. And I'm definitely no lady.
In regards to your 'burning love stick', perhaps some type of herpes ointment would take care of your...ahem...problem.
Roger suspects your use of feminist terms here on his masculine blogspace.
By the way, we true masculine types have no need to advertise.
Roger the Rager, where are you?
Did someone break your face?
Nobody breaks Roger's face Terri. I've been busy raging on the roads... there's a recession on you know. (And a small case of mistaken identity which saw me living in the burned out shell of a winnebago for a month or two whilst Mrs Rager cleared my name.) The irony was bittersweet.
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